So: the title of this post has been rolling around in my brain for months; never being courageous (or motivated. ugh) enough to get my thoughts down on (digital) paper, I am finally finding a moment of inspiration and ambition to do so. If ‘A Woman’s Right to Shoes’ sounds familiar to you, we should probably be friends. It’s the title of an episode of my (beyond) favorite show, Sex and the City.
In short: I- I mean, Carrie, has her shoes stolen while at her friend’s baby shower, and instead of offering to compensate for Carrie’s stolen property, her friend decides to shame her and claims she is frivolous for being single and spending $485 on Manolo Blahniks. I say this about virtually every episode, because that show is my life; but this episode is amazing for so many reasons (you must watch for yourself).
I felt the need/ desire/ what have you, to dedicate a post to the concept of this episode when, seeing as I am such a #Carrie, a few months back, I found myself totally in her shoes (pun intended).
All of my coworkers are in relationships, as well as my sisters… and most of my friends. Hey- what can I say- I love seeing people who are in healthy and loving relationships ! (Not even sarcasm. No matter how tempting.) Yay for relationships, and furthermore, hooray for people who are in relationships for the right reasons, and not to prove anything to society (or their exes).
My issue with this all, is when someone in that position makes anyone else who isn’t in that exact season feel like less because of it. I sensed that one particular person in my life was attempting to make me feel incomplete by constantly ‘reassuring’ me that I would find someone eventually. I wanted to quote that Meghan Trainor song – “If I want a man, then I’mma get a man, but it’s never my priority” (hah! I can’t be alone on this?!).
But in all seriousness, something I’ve realized is that so many people look at single women, and their first instinct is to try to uplift them by saying ‘he’s out there somewhere!’ Here’s a thought: what if we don’t care if he, or any other guy is out there?! What if we don’t believe in putting our lives on hold for anyone?! What if there is more to life than waiting around for someone who might not even exist? Better yet, if he does exist, when you finally meet each other, who wants to be able to say: “I spent 10 years doing absolutely nothing but waiting for you!”? I don’t know about you, but I would not be attracted to a man who was so desperate for a relationship that he put his own dreams, friends, family- life on hold.
I feel the need to repeat: I love relationships! I’m obsessed with my sister and her husband, and I wouldn’t have ever had a brother if it weren’t for their marriage. But for single people and couples alike: it’s important to remember that you are so much more than who you are or aren’t associated with.
I leave you all with a few of my favorite quotes from the episode:
“Where is the hallmark card for “congratulations…you did not marry the wrong guy?”
“I am getting married, to myself….and oh by the way, I am registered at Manolo Blahnik”
“The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.”
I wrote this post back in December, but now that it’s two days until Valentine’s Day, I wanted to show all my single gals (and guys) some love! How do you guys feel about Valentine’s Day anyway? Is it just a marketing holiday to you? I’m super interested to hear!